It is Christmas morning and with all the excitement surrounding the holiday we sometimes forget the reason for this joyous celebration! With all of the political correctness that is whittling away our culture and cultural traditions, we have lost sight of the meaning of this day. We are timid. We don't want to offend...
Don't be afraid to say it! Yes, the greeting is..Merry Christmas, not happy holidays. No other greeting fits the bill on December 25.
Today...Smile, be joyous... And greet friends and family ..one and all...
Merry Christmas to all.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, November 6, 2009
Telling the Truth
YOU LIE!! Yes, that infamous statement from Joe Wilson resonates in our society. Although it was spoken at an inappropriate time, in an inappropriate way, and displayed disrespect for our president, one wonders... respect is a two-way street, isn't it?
In helping our children and young people to navigate the stormy waters of life, we must instill basic rules of conduct and civility. It is vitally important that untruths are not allowed to pass unnoticed or unpunished. In a sense, if we let things slide by, by omission, we validate that it is okay to be dishonest. We can only wonder where dishonesty might take our young people later in life.
So, helping our young people own up to dishonesty whether in deeds or lies, will help them find the strength to navigate stormy waters with a clear conscience.
Our society operates on so many half-truths. It is time that we call a lie, a lie, and teach our young people to do the same.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Holidays are coming.
Yes, this is the joyous time of year that holidays descend upon us. The next three months will be a flurry of activity and kids will be immersed in the excitement of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, whatever. There seems to be a holiday for everyone.
No doubt it is a joyous time, and children and adults can become enveloped by the excitement.
Don't forget to take the time to be charitable to others with gifts, but charitable in deeds, as well. Most of us are well intentioned, but get caught up in day-to-day stuff. This year why not make a conscious effort to make a difference during the holiday season.
It is a perfect time to help young people understand social responsibility and their role in creating a better world. This is no time to preach to them. If they are very young, they may not fully comprehend, if they are a bit older, they might just tune you out. As always, children learn by example....do something good for others and let your child catch you doing it!! Better yet, have them help you. It's the best lesson you can teach them this holiday season and you can have fun doing it together.
Bake cookies and take to a nursing home.
Buy and wrap toys for other children - Toys for Tots, etc.
Help prepare and serve a meal at your local food pantry or Salvation Army.
There are many things you can do if you put on your creative hat. Ask your child or the young person your are mentoring, they will have some great ideas.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tenacity and Toughness
Are you as tough as your grandparents? A simple question, but I wonder how many of us can answer that with a resounding "yes!" Could it be that our nation is growing weaker in ways we haven't really thought about and does it matter? To that I say a resounding "yes!"
Even my generation can look back on struggles that helped us build physical endurance as well as a strong character and tenacity to achieve. But does each generation in its dream to make it easier for the next inadvertently enable the next generation to be weaker. Let's take a look at the twentieth century and how we have morphed.
At the beginning of the 20th century, many families still worked on family farms to produce food, raised livestock, etc. With that came daily physical work and discipline for every member of the family. There was no slacking off. Many of the appliances we use today that make our lives easier, such a the common washing machine, either did not exist or were not commonplace. Day-to-day living required much more physical activity and everyone in the family was involved.
Remember hearing how far your grandparents walked to school? If you wanted to get from point A to point B, you walked or, if you were lucky, rode a bicycle. After World War II, automobiles became more common, and many people used public transportation. Streetcars were popular in many cities, including St. Louis. We were, indeed, much more physically fit, from necessity.
Many of our schools have cut back on physical education, although athletic programs have remained in many schools. If we are to engender "toughness" in our next generation, we must be vigilant in instilling programs that encourage physical fitness. Along with these programs, it is time that we restore good old-fashioned competitiveness in our youth.
I was astounded to learn that many of our public schools no longer fail students. Is it because our educators are the real failures in the system? It is time we worked with our young people to help them realize that being competitive and working to achieve their personal best in whatever they are doing, whether it is math or football, is a positive approach that will serve them well as they grow to adulthood.
Life doesn't give a free pass and neither should we!
What can you do?
Take time each day to talk with your child or the child you are mentoring and make sure that they have a balanced program of physical activity outside of school. Be consistent
Talk about goals and set realistic goals that will help the child move toward their goals.
Set benchmarks and reward the child when those benchmarks are met. Young children thrive on praise. No child ever turns down a hug.
Even my generation can look back on struggles that helped us build physical endurance as well as a strong character and tenacity to achieve. But does each generation in its dream to make it easier for the next inadvertently enable the next generation to be weaker. Let's take a look at the twentieth century and how we have morphed.
At the beginning of the 20th century, many families still worked on family farms to produce food, raised livestock, etc. With that came daily physical work and discipline for every member of the family. There was no slacking off. Many of the appliances we use today that make our lives easier, such a the common washing machine, either did not exist or were not commonplace. Day-to-day living required much more physical activity and everyone in the family was involved.
Remember hearing how far your grandparents walked to school? If you wanted to get from point A to point B, you walked or, if you were lucky, rode a bicycle. After World War II, automobiles became more common, and many people used public transportation. Streetcars were popular in many cities, including St. Louis. We were, indeed, much more physically fit, from necessity.
Many of our schools have cut back on physical education, although athletic programs have remained in many schools. If we are to engender "toughness" in our next generation, we must be vigilant in instilling programs that encourage physical fitness. Along with these programs, it is time that we restore good old-fashioned competitiveness in our youth.
I was astounded to learn that many of our public schools no longer fail students. Is it because our educators are the real failures in the system? It is time we worked with our young people to help them realize that being competitive and working to achieve their personal best in whatever they are doing, whether it is math or football, is a positive approach that will serve them well as they grow to adulthood.
Life doesn't give a free pass and neither should we!
What can you do?
Take time each day to talk with your child or the child you are mentoring and make sure that they have a balanced program of physical activity outside of school. Be consistent
Talk about goals and set realistic goals that will help the child move toward their goals.
Set benchmarks and reward the child when those benchmarks are met. Young children thrive on praise. No child ever turns down a hug.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Is Prejudice Inherited or Learned?
I don't think prejudice is part of our DNA, but they are discovering new links every day!!
Seriously, with all the discussion that is taking place in our country regarding racism, it seems appropriate to talk about it. Actually, it seems that we avoid discussing racism as much as we discuss it. If we consciously avoid discussing racism, does that mean it is very much a part of our psyche?
So, we come to the subject of prejudice as it relates to the younger generation and our peers, as well.
My daughter Katherine, recently reiterated to me how young children really do not appear to have prejudice against any racial or ethnic group or gender. They don't care if you are disabled in some way, pretty or handsome, or short or tall. Even dress in of little importance to them. They are blank slates, remember? They evaluate people on the basis of their experience with them. Are they nice, thoughtful, generous, interested in them...and interesting to them. Say, isn't that how we evaluate new friends? Well, not exactly... we have biases that have developed from family, friends and others. But young children lack bias.
According to Dr. Susan Linn, associate director of the media center of the Judge Baker Children's Center and instructor at Harvard Medical School, "Attitudes about the similarities and differences among people begin in early childhood. ...the seeds of respect and the seeds of tolerance are planted when we are very young and nurtured by our experiences and the attitudes of those around us as we grow up."
I have often heard my daughter mention my oldest grandson's best friend, Brian. Only last week did I discover that Brian is African-American. To my grandson, he is just the best buddy to play with at school and he enjoys being around him. What a wonder if we could all reach that level of acceptance, that we are all, after all, people. Our goal should be, as Martin Luther King said, that we reach that time when his children "would not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
We, meaning anyone with whom they have contact, plant the seed of prejudice in children. Remember we are their role models. How we interact with others and whom we interact with does not go unnoticed, even by a toddler. A child therapist friend recently told me that children understand at least 2-3 years ahead of their chronological age. So although you may not be able to engage in a discussion with a young child, they can often process the information you are sharing with them. Just make sure that you display the behavior you are encouraging them to exhibit, rather than "do as I say, not as I do."
So how do we help this next generation and the next? We have already taken baby steps in the process but there is much progress yet to come.
The most difficult of these for many people will be to bring diversity into their lives. Remember, there is diversity in our schools, workplace, and even in many neighborhoods. But how many of us really have diversity in our social lives or make the attempt to do so? Regardless of your race or ethnicity, you should seek to bring diversity into your life. The richness of the experience may surprise you. Whether you have children or not, make this a goal. If you have children, it can move them closer to a world without prejudice, for you it will contribute to lessening the seeds of prejudice that may have been inadvertently passed on to you.
Seriously, with all the discussion that is taking place in our country regarding racism, it seems appropriate to talk about it. Actually, it seems that we avoid discussing racism as much as we discuss it. If we consciously avoid discussing racism, does that mean it is very much a part of our psyche?
So, we come to the subject of prejudice as it relates to the younger generation and our peers, as well.
My daughter Katherine, recently reiterated to me how young children really do not appear to have prejudice against any racial or ethnic group or gender. They don't care if you are disabled in some way, pretty or handsome, or short or tall. Even dress in of little importance to them. They are blank slates, remember? They evaluate people on the basis of their experience with them. Are they nice, thoughtful, generous, interested in them...and interesting to them. Say, isn't that how we evaluate new friends? Well, not exactly... we have biases that have developed from family, friends and others. But young children lack bias.
According to Dr. Susan Linn, associate director of the media center of the Judge Baker Children's Center and instructor at Harvard Medical School, "Attitudes about the similarities and differences among people begin in early childhood. ...the seeds of respect and the seeds of tolerance are planted when we are very young and nurtured by our experiences and the attitudes of those around us as we grow up."
I have often heard my daughter mention my oldest grandson's best friend, Brian. Only last week did I discover that Brian is African-American. To my grandson, he is just the best buddy to play with at school and he enjoys being around him. What a wonder if we could all reach that level of acceptance, that we are all, after all, people. Our goal should be, as Martin Luther King said, that we reach that time when his children "would not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
We, meaning anyone with whom they have contact, plant the seed of prejudice in children. Remember we are their role models. How we interact with others and whom we interact with does not go unnoticed, even by a toddler. A child therapist friend recently told me that children understand at least 2-3 years ahead of their chronological age. So although you may not be able to engage in a discussion with a young child, they can often process the information you are sharing with them. Just make sure that you display the behavior you are encouraging them to exhibit, rather than "do as I say, not as I do."
So how do we help this next generation and the next? We have already taken baby steps in the process but there is much progress yet to come.
- Open your world to diversity and don't make a big deal of it. If a child notices that a person is different than he or she, do a brief, unbiased explanation or why that person is different.
- Don't differentiate people unless it is integral to the conversation. If a person has a disability, a child may notice, but not always. Explain briefly how the person is impaired and how it may affect how they (the person) interacts with them. If a person is a different race or ethnic group or someone speaking a foreign language, the child may look at you in a quizzical way. Once again, explain and move on, don't make a big deal of it. Address any concerns or questions the child may have in a matter-of-fact manner.
- Don't be condescending to others and do not treat people of racial and ethnic groups who are unlike you other than you would a casual acquaintance or co-worker. Otherwise, children will sense that person is to be treated in a unfriendly, possibly disrespectful way regardless of the situation.
The most difficult of these for many people will be to bring diversity into their lives. Remember, there is diversity in our schools, workplace, and even in many neighborhoods. But how many of us really have diversity in our social lives or make the attempt to do so? Regardless of your race or ethnicity, you should seek to bring diversity into your life. The richness of the experience may surprise you. Whether you have children or not, make this a goal. If you have children, it can move them closer to a world without prejudice, for you it will contribute to lessening the seeds of prejudice that may have been inadvertently passed on to you.
For more discussion regarding prejudice, see Wikipedia and the Peter Ustinov Institute, these are just two articles that discuss the topic. There are numerous references online.
http://Wiki.answers.com/Q/Is prejudice_learned_or_hereditary
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Civility
Webster's defines "civility" as a polite act or expression. Have we forgotten this in our day-to-day lives. In our rush...rush...rush...gimme...gimme...gimme world, it's easy to forget the impact that simple politeness can make in the lives of those around us. I'm not advocating a return to a Victorian-style era of politeness, simply do away with the "hard" exterior so many of us have affected to shield ourselves from an ever-growing complex world.
The next generation is always influenced by what goes before them. They emulate our behavior, our ethics, our values. That's where we can all have an impact.
This week, I am writing to Matt and Ryan about being polite in their daily interaction with family and friends. Since they are only five and three, the process is simple. Along with my daughter, Katherine, and her husband Rob, they will be practicing "please", "thank you," and "excuse me." We'll be using monetary rewards to encourage the process. Politeness is a habit and the earlier we learn it, the more it becomes a part of our demeanor.
So today, practice politeness, you'll enjoy the smiles!!
The next generation is always influenced by what goes before them. They emulate our behavior, our ethics, our values. That's where we can all have an impact.
This week, I am writing to Matt and Ryan about being polite in their daily interaction with family and friends. Since they are only five and three, the process is simple. Along with my daughter, Katherine, and her husband Rob, they will be practicing "please", "thank you," and "excuse me." We'll be using monetary rewards to encourage the process. Politeness is a habit and the earlier we learn it, the more it becomes a part of our demeanor.
So today, practice politeness, you'll enjoy the smiles!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Welcome
Wisdom is going to be a feel-good blog. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or a concerned adult with an interest in children, this blog is for you. My soon to published book: The Wisdom of Generations will open the door to ideas that will help you become a wisdom guide.
As a grandparent, I know I play a special role in the lives of my grandsons. But, I am a small part in their lives, as every member of our family is a community of mentors and counselors for them.
Fifty years ago, families, including extended families spent more time together. Today, many families struggle with both parents at work and the extended family scattered throughout the country. As a result, the next generation has to survive with an incomplete set of role models on a day-to-day basis.
My upcoming book will show you how to share your wisdom in effective ways with the next generation to create a generation of winners!!
We encourage you to post some of your own wisdom tips on the blog. Together we will all be winners!!!
As a grandparent, I know I play a special role in the lives of my grandsons. But, I am a small part in their lives, as every member of our family is a community of mentors and counselors for them.
Fifty years ago, families, including extended families spent more time together. Today, many families struggle with both parents at work and the extended family scattered throughout the country. As a result, the next generation has to survive with an incomplete set of role models on a day-to-day basis.
My upcoming book will show you how to share your wisdom in effective ways with the next generation to create a generation of winners!!
We encourage you to post some of your own wisdom tips on the blog. Together we will all be winners!!!
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