Seriously, with all the discussion that is taking place in our country regarding racism, it seems appropriate to talk about it. Actually, it seems that we avoid discussing racism as much as we discuss it. If we consciously avoid discussing racism, does that mean it is very much a part of our psyche?
So, we come to the subject of prejudice as it relates to the younger generation and our peers, as well.
My daughter Katherine, recently reiterated to me how young children really do not appear to have prejudice against any racial or ethnic group or gender. They don't care if you are disabled in some way, pretty or handsome, or short or tall. Even dress in of little importance to them. They are blank slates, remember? They evaluate people on the basis of their experience with them. Are they nice, thoughtful, generous, interested in them...and interesting to them. Say, isn't that how we evaluate new friends? Well, not exactly... we have biases that have developed from family, friends and others. But young children lack bias.
According to Dr. Susan Linn, associate director of the media center of the Judge Baker Children's Center and instructor at Harvard Medical School, "Attitudes about the similarities and differences among people begin in early childhood. ...the seeds of respect and the seeds of tolerance are planted when we are very young and nurtured by our experiences and the attitudes of those around us as we grow up."
I have often heard my daughter mention my oldest grandson's best friend, Brian. Only last week did I discover that Brian is African-American. To my grandson, he is just the best buddy to play with at school and he enjoys being around him. What a wonder if we could all reach that level of acceptance, that we are all, after all, people. Our goal should be, as Martin Luther King said, that we reach that time when his children "would not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
We, meaning anyone with whom they have contact, plant the seed of prejudice in children. Remember we are their role models. How we interact with others and whom we interact with does not go unnoticed, even by a toddler. A child therapist friend recently told me that children understand at least 2-3 years ahead of their chronological age. So although you may not be able to engage in a discussion with a young child, they can often process the information you are sharing with them. Just make sure that you display the behavior you are encouraging them to exhibit, rather than "do as I say, not as I do."
So how do we help this next generation and the next? We have already taken baby steps in the process but there is much progress yet to come.
- Open your world to diversity and don't make a big deal of it. If a child notices that a person is different than he or she, do a brief, unbiased explanation or why that person is different.
- Don't differentiate people unless it is integral to the conversation. If a person has a disability, a child may notice, but not always. Explain briefly how the person is impaired and how it may affect how they (the person) interacts with them. If a person is a different race or ethnic group or someone speaking a foreign language, the child may look at you in a quizzical way. Once again, explain and move on, don't make a big deal of it. Address any concerns or questions the child may have in a matter-of-fact manner.
- Don't be condescending to others and do not treat people of racial and ethnic groups who are unlike you other than you would a casual acquaintance or co-worker. Otherwise, children will sense that person is to be treated in a unfriendly, possibly disrespectful way regardless of the situation.
The most difficult of these for many people will be to bring diversity into their lives. Remember, there is diversity in our schools, workplace, and even in many neighborhoods. But how many of us really have diversity in our social lives or make the attempt to do so? Regardless of your race or ethnicity, you should seek to bring diversity into your life. The richness of the experience may surprise you. Whether you have children or not, make this a goal. If you have children, it can move them closer to a world without prejudice, for you it will contribute to lessening the seeds of prejudice that may have been inadvertently passed on to you.
For more discussion regarding prejudice, see Wikipedia and the Peter Ustinov Institute, these are just two articles that discuss the topic. There are numerous references online.
http://Wiki.answers.com/Q/Is prejudice_learned_or_hereditary
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